A few years ago I found myself looking at the people in my life and the quality of these people as well. What did they offer me and what was I offering them? Healthy or unhealthy relationships. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t have people in my life just because of what I can get from them or what they give me. I am referring to strengths of character.
I found those who offered me encouragement to be strong and to be who I am and to never be fake. I valued them amongst the most important since I feel I am stronger because of them in my life supporting me to be me.
I found I had gathered people in my life that really were of no value to me but at the same time didn’t hurt or change who I was. I just think of these people as non-supportive fillers.
I also found people who I was left asking what they were in my life for. It seems as though as I thought of these people I thought of them only in the negative. They were critical and demanding of me. I asked why they were in my life. A couple of course were family. One was someone I worked with. Neither of these I can do anything about. With a lot of thought I decided to part ways with the rest.
Off with their heads I thought – off of Facebook – off of contacts in my phone and on email. I took a deep breath and let go. I felt good. I felt strong. I proceeded with my life.
But I could not be done at this point. I also had to come to some understanding of how and why these people had come into my life and stayed there? But, maybe more importantly what could I do to make sure that these types of peoples could and would not make it back into my life. I came up with some ideas by looking at the people highest on my list of people I kept in my life to come up with values I expected in people to have that I wanted to be surrounded by.
I now make sure as people come in that they have these qualities and those that don’t might as well use the revolving door I installed in my life. I also make sure I provide these qualities to the people that I want in my life – relationships take more than two people of course. Applications are now being accepted.