2013/09/10 ~ Doing For Others & Not Feeling Abused

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I often find myself doing things for people – and find these same people asking me to do things over and over. I don’t mind doing for some because, well, they do for me. I have always been devoted to my family and friends and done my best in life to always do the right thing for all of these people involved with my life. However, I often feel used and that what I do for others is just taken for granted.

So I am sitting here typing this and wondering how to do for those that are in my life – and complete strangers for that matter, but not to feel like I am being taken for granted. I feel anger, resentment and hatred very quickly to those who seem to want to use me. I know some of what I feel is also my fault because I let it happen.

I grew up in a home where I was taught to always give of myself because that is what God wants – and I believe that to be true. I was also taught to never take anything from anyone because it always comes with a price and to never take anything unless you are willing to pay the price and you can afford to. This does not mean monetarily being able to pay it back. For instance, early on in our marriage my wife and I stayed with her Dad and I always made extra efforts to help out since we couldn’t help out financially by doing yard work, the dishes, preparing meals and anything else I could do while we were there.

I guess my real problem here is that I can not stand people who take advantage of my good nature and keep taking and never giving back. I have always felt blessed with the smallest of things that people have done for me. I ask very little from anyone and never expect anything from anybody.

When my kids were young and would want to buy Christmas presents I always asked for them to write me a letter telling me about how they felt for me and maybe tell me a story about the previous year that was special to them. Costs them nothing (except time, a couple pieces of paper and ink/lead) and means the world to me since I can read them over and over through the years – these are priceless to me.

I do not understand the mentality of a person who can continually take and never give, have to be asked for them to give or give attitudes to those who ask of them to do something in return. How can someone take and not even say thank yous? It is so rude and obnoxious!

What are your thoughts? How do you keep from feeling used? When do come to a fork in the road for people you do for that are basically using you and what makes you come to the conclusion that you have had enough?

{Copyright Jeffrey Scott Thomas – The Jibber Jabber Journal}

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